How To Not Look Like an Idiot

Oh look, a blog post. Must be slow at work.

This line from Dead Is the New Black gets a lot of play:

When Stu slid in next to her, she asked, “When you buy a suit jacket and you can’t get your hands into the pockets, do you assume you just bought a jacket with non-functional pockets, or do you rip the stay stitch out like you’re supposed to?”

Laura’s aggravation stems from seeing people walk around with hanger loops coming out from under their arms and (shudder) labels at the left cuff.

Garment manufacturers take a number of steps to ensure clothes got from factory to store to closet in one piece. So, here are the things you should know about your clothes before wearing them:



What It’s For

Pockets have a way of sagging during shipping, especially if they’re hung. The tacking ensures you’re getting a flat pocket when you buy it.

For years my stepdad couldn’t figure out why he’d buy nice jackets only to discover they had fake pockets. Except they didn’t have fake pockets, they had aggressively tacked functional pockets. Carefully rip the stitch open.

The better the jacket, the more likely it’s hand tacked, but if it’s not, try not to judge.

The fit on the above jacket is lovely except for the flipping open at the front/bottom caused by an ill-shaped facing. This is very very odd for Burberry, but it leads me to believe they shot an early sample.



What It’s For

When jackets are piled one on top of the other, and your finishing staff is rushing because they have to pack another four thousand of a different style the next day, and they have to finish the job and move on, vents have a way of flipping open. Then when a flipped open vent is shipped a billion miles over a stormy sea, and twenty pounds worth of jackets are on top of it, you can bet on a crease that will make the jacket unsaleable.

Do not leave the house without removing the “X” at the bottom of the vent.




What It’s For

You all know the evil you do. You go through racks, looking for your size and you are simply not neat about it. Stuff falls of the hanger. Whether or not you leave it is simply a matter of upbringing, but the store would rather it stay on the hanger as much as possible. Thus, they put in hanger tape.




Now, because hanger tape has gotten branded and attractive in recent years, and because we’ve moved to a “one strand across the neck” formation, I’ve seen this left on a bazillion backs. Even some people in the industry leave it in. You’re not supposed to. Cut it out. You look like an idiot.



Why It’s There

You’re looking at a rack of jackets. They all face right sleeve toward the wall, left sleeve toward the aisle. Always. The cuff label means if you want an Armani or Nautica suit, you don’t have to look at each neck label and push the jackets around, making a mess. The fact that things are now arranged by brand is notwithstanding. They used to be arranged by size and if we love anything in the garment industry, it’s tradition.

You need to take this off.

You really, really need to take this off.



If I see you with it I’m attacking it with a seam ripper, removing it, and checking your vents and pockets. Got it?

If you’d like to know more about the garmento side of fashion, but you like mystery and romance, you might take a look at my books. My mom thinks they’re awesome. Also, they’ve won awards that my mom wasn’t judging at all. So maybe you’ll like them too. I promise they’re better punctuated than this post.

Get Book 1, Dead is the New Black on Amazon.

Get Book 2, Death of a Supermodel on Amazon.

Or check out this little ebook called The Case of the Missing Blahnik.

All those badasses are available on Kindle if that’s how you roll.

Posted on by xtine in Frontpage Blog

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